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Deviant for 11 Months
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Freddy My Love :iconcoloredtoxins:coloredtoxins 0 0 Amateur murder :iconcoloredtoxins:coloredtoxins 0 0 Old vent art :iconcoloredtoxins:coloredtoxins 0 0
Literature
Broken Bone
I have a broken bone.
This bone didn't really start out as a bone,
But it was made to withstand a lot of pressure.
It started out soft,
Vulnerable and open.
I was raised in an environment
That gave me the proper nutrients
To keep the bone intact.
Nothing really happened to that bone.
I was happy and pain-free.
There's no long, dramatic story
To how this bone came to break.
And even if there is,
I doubt all the pressure only just hit me now.
Little cracks in the bone through my childhood only made it stronger,
But for a wound to heal, it must be left alone.
It must not be reopened or touched.
There are few times where fiddling with a wound
Helps the healing process.
Unfortunately,
My wounds would not fully heal
Before another would suddenly take its place.
Unusual bumps and scars formed
In a drastic attempt to make me better
Before I was hurt again.
My body had grown accustomed
To the continuous breaking.
The stronger this bone became,
The less it actually broke.
Although there would al
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Literature
Patient 1011010100
These kinds of walls don't enjoy sound
His screaming needs to be silenced
His lungs will tear
Or give out
Or both
His room smells like linens and tears
We're out of ideas
The deadline is coming
His insurance is running low
We can't let him go back
The walls are numb to his delusional screams
Save him, save him
There's nothing we can do
These walls will only take so much
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Literature
Entry 3
My head grows foggier by the minute. I know I'll regret my choices in the morning, but binge drinking was a better choice than carving slices of fat out of my arm. I could be at the cast party, playing video games and chilling in general. Instead, I'm on my bedroom floor, killing brain cells. I guess it doesn't really matter, though. I gave up on my health a long time ago. I set down the bottle and crawl into my disorganized bedsheets. Despite the warm feeling glowing through my body, I still wrap myself up in the blue and black comforter. The words ring through my ears... "Annoying... Shut up... Kill yourself..." Maybe it is a good thing I didn't go to the cast party. Nobody wants me there.
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Beauty :iconcoloredtoxins:coloredtoxins 0 0 I'm Sorry :iconcoloredtoxins:coloredtoxins 1 0 I Saw Stars In Your Eyes :iconcoloredtoxins:coloredtoxins 0 0 Random Female :iconcoloredtoxins:coloredtoxins 0 0 Yukito :iconcoloredtoxins:coloredtoxins 0 0
Literature
Entry 2
I suddenly lose the little bit of positive energy I have left. Although my face shows my sudden emptiness, I continue applauding as to not interrupt the scene. My first reaction is to run off the stage, but I control my feet and force myself to look excited. These ideas stay with me through the rest of rehearsal. I no longer giggle or sway my 50's skirt. I can't fully pay attention to my friends' solo of Beauty School Dropout. I'm in pain. Alex hasn't been online for days, and I worry. What if he killed himself? What if he went back to the hospital? What if he doesn't like me anymore? The thought lingers. I know calling him will be useless. He never answers. On top of this, I want to sleep for twenty years. I'm not necessarily tired, but rather bored of the drab, grey cycle that my daily life has become. Maybe my dreams have some sort of solace for me. My mind then turns to a memory of my second hospital admission. "I want to swallow a million pills..." I would whisper to my therapist.
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Cup :iconcoloredtoxins:coloredtoxins 0 1 Departure :iconcoloredtoxins:coloredtoxins 1 0 Chain :iconcoloredtoxins:coloredtoxins 1 2
Literature
Entry 1
There's a familiar heaviness in my heart. I glance at my outlets of creativity, frustrated with the limits of my delusional imagination. Even music refuses to help, for the lack of control is painfully obvious in my ears. I stare at the ceiling, wondering if I was the only one that came up with such jumbled ideas. Before that week, I had just assumed everyone experienced mental illness, that I wasn't anything special. And though I still am not, I came to realize that not all high schoolers are sad all the time as I once thought. Apparently there are people that don't cry themselves to sleep every night. Apparently not everyone hears voices. A typical image of blood and gore flashes through my brain again. I'm not disturbed or surprised in any way, as my homicidal tendencies tend to interrupt my train of thought quite regularly. My first reaction is to draw it out, so it can become a proud work of art rather than an annoying urge to cause pain. However, I begin to realize that my brain
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Mature content
Death boy :iconanoki-doll:Anoki-Doll 87 5
Thank you for bein a friend :iconzambicandy:zambicandy 140 18 Treats Please :iconethe:ethe 364 16

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Lol I love money problems. 

So I realize I won't make a ton doing it. But it recently occurred to me that, because of certain mental handicaps, I can't get a job right now. And it also occurred to me that I have a hedgehog to feed and a girlfriend to support. Point is, something needs to start happening and quickly. Nothing is set in stone yet 
Freddy My Love
I finally got my computer working again.Thank the Greek gods. Long story short, This is just a doodle really. I'm experimenting with coloring techniques. I have no idea why I titled it after a Greace song, so please just go with it.
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Ugh my mental state has been everywhere. I gotta draw more vent art rather than carving into my arm
Lol I love money problems. 

So I realize I won't make a ton doing it. But it recently occurred to me that, because of certain mental handicaps, I can't get a job right now. And it also occurred to me that I have a hedgehog to feed and a girlfriend to support. Point is, something needs to start happening and quickly. Nothing is set in stone yet 

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coloredtoxins's Profile Picture
coloredtoxins
Cody
Artist | Hobbyist
United States
I'm Cody. I'm 16 and I've been drawing for eight years.

I started drawing anime-styled art, but have begun to look at more realistic approaches. My coloring is atrocious, but I'm trying. Any tips on coloring digitally is highly appreciated.

I'm a very sadistic person. I enjoy gore and horror. I also use art as a way to vent, so if I post anything about self harm or sadness, just know that drawing that stuff prevents me from doing it. No need to report it.

Feel free to talk to me at any time. As bitchy as I look, I'm not that mean.

Hope you enjoy and I look forward to exploring DeviantArt.

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:iconserendiipitii:
Serendiipitii Featured By Owner May 6, 2016  Student General Artist
Thanks for the lovin' :huggle:
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:icontinalouiseuk:
TinaLouiseUk Featured By Owner May 6, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
848491e45ae394c4497a63c645491c3e-d9b7yni by TinaLouiseUk  
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:iconplaci1:
Placi1 Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2016
Thank you for the fave!
Reply
:iconcoloredtoxins:
coloredtoxins Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2016  Hobbyist
No prob :3
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